WHY TO VOTE DEMOCRAT

Subject: Fw: Fwd: Ten reasons to vote Democrat by Letterman
>
>
>
>
> THESE ARE GREAT AND RIGHT ON
> TARGET!
>
>
> Ten reasons to vote Democrat by
> Letterman
>
>
> #10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now
> marry
> whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German
> Shepherd.
>
>
> #9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of
> 4% on a gallon
> of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon
> at 15% isn't.
>
>
> #8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a
> better
> job of spending the money I earn than I
> would.
>
>
> #7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long
> as
> nobody is offended by it.
>
>
> #6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a
> gun,
> and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from
> murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service
> that gets
> police to your home in order to identify your body after a home
> invasion.
>
>
> #5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of
> babies
> being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and
> comfy.
>
>
> #4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right
> to
> free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should
> take away Social Security from those who paid into
> it.
>
>
> #3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not
> be
> allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give
> the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees
> it.
>
>
> #2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to
> rewrite
> the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never
> get their agendas past the voters.
>
>
>
> … And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's
> better to
> pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own
> because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here
> in
> America. We
> don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those
> other
> countries.
>
>
> "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has
> its
> limits"… Albert Einstein
>
>
> I know you all will appreciate this
> definition.
>
> The best description of Obamacare so
> far:
>
> Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: “We have to pass it, to find
> out
> what's in it."
>
> A physician called into a radio show and said: "That's
> the
> definition of a stool sample."

Another dumb lawyer joke...

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also.
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

  "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

  They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

  Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

  The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high

Larry the Cable Guy solves our problems

Direct Quote from "Larry, the Cable Guy"

THIS CABLE GUY HUMOR IS FUNNY BUT UNFORTUNATELY ITS TRUE! THE MAN'S A GENIUS!!! 

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . .. .. . Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.

* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
> * Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
> * Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

> 

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
> Think about this:
> 1. Cows
> 2. The Constitution
> 3. The Ten Commandments

> 

COWS
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

> 

THE CONSTITUTION
> They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ....
> why don't we just give them ours?
> It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
> it has worked for over 200 years,
> and we're not using it anymore.

> 

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
> The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this --
> you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'
> 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and
> 'Thou Shall Not Lie'
> in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians,
> it creates a hostile work environment.

> 

Also, think about this .....
> If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone --
> YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

CONFUSED ABOUT SERVICE?

DEFINITION OF"SERVICE" I became confused when I heard the word " Service " being used with these agencies: 1, Internal Revenue "Service". 2, U.S. Postal "Service". 3, Telephone "Service". 4, Cable T.V. "Service". 5, Civil "Service". 6, State, City, County & Public"Service". 7, Customer "Service". This is not what I thought "Service"meant. But today I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "Service" a few cows. BAM !!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing!!!!! www.GuardDogBooks.com

Irish Joke

Square Testicles           This is a joke that is supposed to bring you the luck of the Irish. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?' The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.' The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.    The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?' 'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.' 'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked  the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.' The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland.' The origin of this Irish story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent. Whoever breaks the chain would definitely be unlucky.   Do not keep this letter. And do not send money. Just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck. Something good will happen to you in the next four days. If the chain is not broken, you will have good luck during the four days. Even if all you do is make someone laugh, send it on!    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * If you send this page to more than 5 people, you will have good luck for the next 5 years   in addition to the luck you will have within the next 4 days.

E-mail to a 60-year old friend.

Forget the Jeremiah Johnson nonsense. At your age you had better stick to hot chicks and surfing.

Yes we are traveling toward the 3.5 solar mass Sirius system at 7.5 kilometers per second and it is only 8 LY distant. Then you have the 3-solar mass Procyon sitting over there at 10.4 LY. The galaxy gravity is also in that direction south of us so you have to multiply mass difference times four to figure gravity. 3.5 times 4 = 14 times the gravity of our sun for Sirius and 12 times the gravity of our sun for Procyon. Then you have to proportion those out with distance. We come up with the data that you would only have to travel 12% of the distance toward Sirius with conventional rocket technology and you could shut your engines down and coast the rest of the way. It would take more than 12 times the energy to come back. It would be much easier to get back to earth if you waited 20,000 years when we were on the upstream of the galactic gravity.

I put the figures in the book so that people could do their own math. You can find all that on Google. Sun mass: 2.0e30. Procyon A and B 5.98e30 (round it up to 6e30). Sirius A and B 6.8e30= approximately 3.5 solar masses. We are traveling toward Sirius at 7.5 kilometers per second so what is the orbit period. The mass/gravity in that general direction is about 20 to 24 times that of our sun so we should speed up to around 200 kilometer per second and whip around the back side at 1/10th LY. This will double incoming UV to Earth at our closest point. We can compute that because we know the output of our sun compared with Sirius B and the distance... If you want to maintain your same DNA you may have to live underground for 500 years.

If there are inhabited planets there they could visit us with crude rocket technology. I have a better invention that originally was invented by Thoth later known as Hermes. He is shown carrying it in the various drawings of him. It’s also on the wall of doctor’s offices and in their ads in the phone book. It’s the guts out of a flying saucer. You don't need the wings. That is an indicator that it is meant to fly.

The caduceus is an anti-gravity engine. You fill it with liquid mercury which is an excellent conductor and rotate it with say, 100 hp. It’s a continuous Inertial Pulse Engine with better than 6.8 newton’s per watt energy conversion= 112 pounds of lift per HP = 112,000 pounds = 56 tons. I registered it with the patent office. Running electricity around coils creates magnetism. Running a conducting liquid around a spiral coil produces a time warp plus inertial propulsion when the heavy metal whips around the 90 degree bend at the top and flows back down the central reservoir... Mercury weighs 112 pounds per gallon.   

Is that far out enough for you? www.GuardDogBooks.com

NO JOKE...

Subject: WAL-MART VS. THE MORONS..(NOT A JOKE)

This is quite interesting.

Even if you do not forward it, read it all the way to the end...

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of Every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's Largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.
8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had Five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences Will occur at Wal-Mart stores.(Earth's population is Approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we
should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans?? Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To: President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt and ineffective:

a..The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 237 years to get it right and it is broke.

b..Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 77 years to get it right And it is broke.

c..Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 74 years to get it right and It is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 48 years to get it right;$1 Trillion of our money is confiscated each year andTransferred to "the poor"
..........And they only want more.
e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 47 years to get it right and they are broke.

f..Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 42Years to get it right And it is broke.

g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen Our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000
Employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we Import more oil than ever before. You had 35 years to get it right and
it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you Have shoved down our Throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOUCAN BE

TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE

SYSTEM??

Folks, Keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some

of our "duly elected' (they never read anything) and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

AND We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,? BUT -- In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , Japan

and Turkey ..And Pakistan........previous home of Bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no extra aid nor do they get any special breaks -- nadda beyond shopping discounts...

Now, it is estimated that 90,000 illegal alien children under the age of 16 will be in our country by the end of the year. We will feed them, provide health

and education and they will get everything a hard working American citizen gets - just for crossing the border illegally.

Obama is proposing we give millions of dollars to El Salvador, Hondouras and Guatamala to "help" the children. Do you really think this money

is going to get to the children that really need it? Meanwhile, Mexico is charging for allowing them to pass through Mexico to get to the US border,

paid for by the drug cartels. They are keeping the Border Guards busy changing diapers while the drug lords funnel tons of drugs into the

US to turn our children into zombies.

In GITMO, the 147 Muslim terrorists have one doctor for every prisoner, a state-of-the art hospital system, are provided Korans

and prayer rugs, food approved by the Koran, exercise and additional perks.

Our Veterans die waiting to see a VA doctor while the directors get bonuses.

AND Congress wants to freeze Social Security payments !

99% of people won't forward this. I'm one of the1% -- I Just Did

HONESTY

Honesty

Yup, some people can’t handle the truth!

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where the fuck I am now...

Voted best Joke!

Subject: How did we elect his guy?

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work".

The German doctor says: "that's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work".

The Russian doctor says: "gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work".

The United States doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. Five years ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain

--

Kevin Ryan, Ph. D.
Professor and Director Emeritus

Center for Character and Social Responsibility

Boston University

While you slept...

   Late Monday night the Muslim Brother hood warned that if the United
States continues meddling in Egypt , 

Libya and other Middle East hot spots 

they intend to cut off America 's supplyof 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

 
     If this action does not yield 

sufficient results, cab drivers will be next,followed by Dell, AT&T, and AOLcustomer service reps.
 

   Finally, if all else fails, they havethreatened to not supply us any more    presidents.

Obamacare joke

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes her clothes off, climbs on top and has her way with him.

Upon completion the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, the man asks," What are they doing in there"?

The nurse responds, " They're preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross.

They have Obama Care."

Jokes that can be told in Church...

****JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH****

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
After hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, 'What do you think about
All this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
Whispered to her mother,
'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
Of happiness,
And today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
Their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words
On a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
They give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
Scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
He calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words

on a piece of paper. He calls it a sermon, and it

takes eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
Pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
Service, she wrote,
'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you had to arrest your own
Mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem .
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments

With her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy
Father and thy mother,' she asked,
'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
Treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill..'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Sunday School they were teaching how God
Created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
Told him
How Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
Down as though he were ill,
And she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little
Johnny responded,
'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have
A wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~


You don't stop laughing because you grow old..
You grow old because you stop laughing!
We need something to start the day happy.
"They" haven't found a way to tax you for
Laughing yet.

Blond jokes--good for your health...

DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE
ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A
VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

Occasionally, we need to be reminded as to why God made us in the first place. Some answers appear below.

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Babe Ruth "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Lyndon B. Johnson "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Paul Horning "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." H. L. Mencken "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" George Bernard Shaw "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.! W. C. Fields Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: "Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Henry Kroll Author of ten books: COSMOLOGICAL ICE AGES, The Frog Is cooked, SADDAM HUSSEIN AND THE SAND PIRATES, Philosopher's Stone, SPACESHIPS OF THE GODS, DIE WITH THE MOST TOYS etc... 

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