Obamacare joke

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes her clothes off, climbs on top and has her way with him.

Upon completion the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, the man asks," What are they doing in there"?

The nurse responds, " They're preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross.

They have Obama Care."

BEST POLITICAL JOKE OF THE SEASON

   George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.


While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.


The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.



Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a
check.



Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.



Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.



When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.



The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."