Dear Abby

 

My husband hasn`t worked for the last 14 years . All he does is get dressed
in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies . I know he`s
cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his grand daughters .

 

I know because he brags about this to me  . He smokes fancy cigars and
drinks the most expensive Champagne day and night .

 

We sleep in separate beds because he`s always telling me he knows I`m a lesbian and my varicose veins and hairy back turn him off !

Should I clobber him with my frying pan, or should I leave him , Abby ?
Your advice would be appreciated .....
         

Mad as Hell

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mad as Hell,

 

You don`t have to take that kind of treatment from any man . I suggest you
pack your bags and move out a.s.a.p!   

 

Don`t resort to clobbering him with the frying pan , and try to act like a lady !

Remember ....... you`re running for President of the United States , so try
acting like one !

 

          Abby

 

MEXICAN JUSTICE

Three women went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation. They got drunk and woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

 

They throw the switch and NOTHING HAPPENS! They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from Indiana University School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens AGAIN.  immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of West Virginia and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug that thing in.

__._,_.___

CONFUSED ABOUT SERVICE?

DEFINITION OF"SERVICE" I became confused when I heard the word " Service " being used with these agencies: 1, Internal Revenue "Service". 2, U.S. Postal "Service". 3, Telephone "Service". 4, Cable T.V. "Service". 5, Civil "Service". 6, State, City, County & Public"Service". 7, Customer "Service". This is not what I thought "Service"meant. But today I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "Service" a few cows. BAM !!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing!!!!! www.GuardDogBooks.com