MILITARY HUMOR

Marine Corps Rules: 

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 
3. Have a plan. 
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 
5. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you
meet. 
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with a '4.' 
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive. 
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and
diagonal preferred.) 
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 
10. Flank your adversary. When possible, protect yours. 
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 
12. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived. 
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to
shoot.. 

Navy SEAL Rules: 

1. Look very cool in sunglasses. 
2. Kill every living thing in sight. 
3. Adjust Speedo. 
4. Check hair in mirror. 

US Army Rangers' Rules: 

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving. 
2. Locate individuals requiring killing. 
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing. 
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving. 

US Army Rules: 

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order. 
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee. 
3. Curse bitterly. 
4. Curse bitterly. 
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed. 
6. Curse bitterly. 

US Air Force Rules: 

1. Have a cocktail. 
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 
3. See what's on HBO. 
4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?' 
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point
presentation. 
6. Wine and dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD and defense industry
executives. 
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets. 
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally. 
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict, but close
enough to have tax exemption. 
11 Always have ICE CREAM

( And I Love This Next One) 

US Navy Rules: 

1. Go to Sea. 
2. Drink Coffee

3, Insert SEALS

4, Deploy Marines, 

5, Launch Aircraft and Missiles 350 miles away from fighting

5, Drink more Coffee
Go Navy! 

And the next... (You've got to love the military, and God bless them all.) 

U.S. Navy Directive 16134 (Inappropriate T-Shirts) 

The following directive was issued by the commanding officer of all naval
installations in the Middle East . 
(It was obviously directed at the Marines.) 

To: All Commands 
Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts 

Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K 

All commanders promulgate upon receipt:

The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn, on or off base, by any
military, or civilian personnel, serving in the Middle East: 

1. 'Eat Pork or Die' 
[Both English and Arabic versions]

2. 'Shrine Busters' 
[Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting
Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

3. 'Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more.' 
[Both English and Arabic versions]

4. 'The road to Paradise begins with me.' 

[Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope
cross-hairs.]

5. 'Guns don't kill people. I kill people.' 


6. 'Pork. The other white meat.' 

7. 'Infidel' 

The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of
this directive.

In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this
message:

1. 'Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800
Daily.'

2. 'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?'

All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.

CALIFORNIA MAN gets psychiatric observation for owning guns...

California MAN Gets PSYCHIATRIC  OBSERVATION FOR OWNING GUNS

You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.

By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered "mentally unstable."

In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in 

Detroit." In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food."

In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend.

In Montana and South Dakota, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

In North Carolina, Virginia, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky and 

South Carolina he would be called "a deer hunting buddy."

And, in TEXAS, he'd just be "Bubba, who's a little short on ammo.

Gun Ban -- Funny...

Places not to go---gun violence

 

 

 

What an interesting list!.

Oddly, the US is way down the list...
Places not to go---gun violence
It is hard to believe, the general public can’t grasp this.
Please go all the way down the list for the "bottom line". . .
This is FASCINATING !!
WORLD MURDER STATISTICS
From the World Health Organization
The latest Murder Statistics for the world:
Murders per 100,000 citizens per year.
Honduras 91.6 (WOW!!)
El Salvador 69.2
Cote d'lvoire 56.9
Jamaica 52.2
Venezuela 45.1
Belize 41.4
US Virgin Islands 39.2
Guatemala 38.5
Saint Kitts and Nevis 38.2
Zambia 38.0
Uganda 36.3
Malawi 36.0
Lesotho 35.2
Trinidad and Tobago 35.2
Colombia 33.4
South Africa 31.8
Congo 30.8
Central African Republic 29.3
Bahamas 27.4
Puerto Rico 26.2
Saint Lucia 25.2
Dominican Republic 25.0
Tanzania 24.5
Sudan 24.2
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines 22.9
Ethiopia 22.5
Guinea 22.5
Dominica 22.1
Burundi 21.7
Democratic Republic of the Congo 21.7
Panama 21.6
Brazil 21.0
Equatorial Guinea 20.7
Guinea-Bissau 20.2
Kenya 20.1
Kyrgyzstan 20.1
Cameroon 19.7
Montserrat 19.7
Greenland 19.2
Angola 19.0
Guyana 18.6
Burkina Faso 18.0
Eritrea 17.8
Namibia 17.2
Rwanda 17.1
Mexico 16.9
Chad 15.8
Ghana 15.7
Ecuador 15.2
North Korea 15.2
Benin 15.1
Sierra Leone 14.9
Mauritania 14.7
Botswana 14.5
Zimbabwe 14.3
Gabon 13.8
Nicaragua 13.6
French Guiana 13.3
Papua New Guinea 13.0
Swaziland 12.9
Bermuda 12.3
Comoros 12.2
Nigeria 12.2
Cape Verde 11.6
Grenada 11.5
Paraguay 11.5
Barbados 11.3
Togo 10.9
Gambia 10.8
Peru 10.8
Myanmar 10.2
Russia 10.2
Liberia 10.1
Costa Rica 10.0
Nauru 9.8
Bolivia 8.9
Mozambique 8.8
Kazakhstan 8.8
Senegal 8.7
Turks and Caicos Islands 8.7
Mongolia 8.7
British Virgin Islands 8.6
Cayman Islands 8.4
Seychelles 8.3
Madagascar 8.1
Indonesia 8.1
Mali 8.0
Pakistan 7.8
Moldova 7.5
Kiribati 7.3
Guadeloupe 7.0
Haiti 6.9
Timor-Leste 6.9
Anguilla 6.8
Antigua and Barbuda 6.8
Lithuania 6.6
Uruguay 5.9
Philippines 5.4
Ukraine 5.2
Estonia 5.2
Cuba 5.0
Belarus 4.9
Thailand 4.8
Suriname 4.6
Laos 4.6
Georgia 4.3
Martinique 4.2
And .............................................
The United States 4.2 !!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL (109) of the countries above America have 100% gun bans.

It might be of interest to note that SWITZERLAND is not shown on this
list because it has NO MURDER OCCURRENCE!
However, SWITZERLAND 'S law requires that EVERYONE:
1. Own a gun.
2. Maintain Marksman qualifications .... regularly .

Didja learn anything from this??

The message is - loud and clear - that gun bans and restrictions DO NOT work!

 

 

--

"If you do not take an interest in the affairs of your government, then you are doomed to live under the rule of fools." – Plato

 

E-mail to a 60-year old friend.

Forget the Jeremiah Johnson nonsense. At your age you had better stick to hot chicks and surfing.

Yes we are traveling toward the 3.5 solar mass Sirius system at 7.5 kilometers per second and it is only 8 LY distant. Then you have the 3-solar mass Procyon sitting over there at 10.4 LY. The galaxy gravity is also in that direction south of us so you have to multiply mass difference times four to figure gravity. 3.5 times 4 = 14 times the gravity of our sun for Sirius and 12 times the gravity of our sun for Procyon. Then you have to proportion those out with distance. We come up with the data that you would only have to travel 12% of the distance toward Sirius with conventional rocket technology and you could shut your engines down and coast the rest of the way. It would take more than 12 times the energy to come back. It would be much easier to get back to earth if you waited 20,000 years when we were on the upstream of the galactic gravity.

I put the figures in the book so that people could do their own math. You can find all that on Google. Sun mass: 2.0e30. Procyon A and B 5.98e30 (round it up to 6e30). Sirius A and B 6.8e30= approximately 3.5 solar masses. We are traveling toward Sirius at 7.5 kilometers per second so what is the orbit period. The mass/gravity in that general direction is about 20 to 24 times that of our sun so we should speed up to around 200 kilometer per second and whip around the back side at 1/10th LY. This will double incoming UV to Earth at our closest point. We can compute that because we know the output of our sun compared with Sirius B and the distance... If you want to maintain your same DNA you may have to live underground for 500 years.

If there are inhabited planets there they could visit us with crude rocket technology. I have a better invention that originally was invented by Thoth later known as Hermes. He is shown carrying it in the various drawings of him. It’s also on the wall of doctor’s offices and in their ads in the phone book. It’s the guts out of a flying saucer. You don't need the wings. That is an indicator that it is meant to fly.

The caduceus is an anti-gravity engine. You fill it with liquid mercury which is an excellent conductor and rotate it with say, 100 hp. It’s a continuous Inertial Pulse Engine with better than 6.8 newton’s per watt energy conversion= 112 pounds of lift per HP = 112,000 pounds = 56 tons. I registered it with the patent office. Running electricity around coils creates magnetism. Running a conducting liquid around a spiral coil produces a time warp plus inertial propulsion when the heavy metal whips around the 90 degree bend at the top and flows back down the central reservoir... Mercury weighs 112 pounds per gallon.   

Is that far out enough for you? www.GuardDogBooks.com