SUM BITCH!

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural East Texas . Panic
stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the
time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull
left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
> 
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of
anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had
happened.
> 
They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and
out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the
farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. 
> 
"Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United
States ?"
> 
>"Yep."
> 
>"Were there any survivors?"
> 
"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."
> 
"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked.
> 
"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
> 
"He kept a-saying he wasn't... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies...

Craig's List new listing...

Listing today on Craig's List:

You are probably not very interested in any used farm equipment, but
thought you might like to see this ad taken from Craig's List this
morning...

Fifty-year-old manure spreader - $1 (Washington, D.C.)

Date: 4-4-2012, 08:21AM EST

Fifty-year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been
produced in Kenya. Used for a few years in Indonesia before being
smuggled into the US via Hawaii. Of questionable pedigree. Does not
appear to have ever been worked very hard. Apparently, it was pampered by various owners over the years. It does not work very often, but when it does, it can really spread the manure and sling it for amazing
distances. I am hoping to retire this manure spreader next November.
Nevertheless, I really do not want it hanging around getting in the
way. I would prefer a foreign buyer that is willing to relocate this
manure spreader out of the country. I would be willing to trade this
manure spreader for a nicely framed copy of the United States
Constitution .

Location: Oval Office -Washington, D.C.