BIGGEST HOLES IN THE WORLD...

The sheer scale of these holes reminds you of just how tiny we are.

Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa

Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world,
this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons of diamonds before being closed.

Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California

A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs
to be drained from the reservoir. It is the largest spillway of this type in the
world and consumes 14,400 cubic feet of water every second.

Great Blue Hole, Belize

This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated
60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There are numerous blue holes around the world,
but none as stunning as this one.

Sinkhole in Guatemala

These photos are of a sinkhole that occurred in Guatemala.
The hole swallowed 2 dozen homes and killed at least 3 people.

SHIT HOLE, Washington D.C.

This hole swallows trillions and trillions of U.S. Dollars annually!
The money that falls into this hole is never heard from again,
nor do we see any good come from it.

It is reported to be filled with thousands of "ass holes."

TRULY AMAZING!

Have you heard this one???

On Monday, January 27, 2014

AIRPLANE IN TROUBLE

The pilot informed the passengers that the airplane was about to crash;
however, it soon became apparent that there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger, Holly Madison said, "I have my own reality show and I
am the smartest and prettiest woman at Playboy, so Americans don't want me to die." She took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.

The second passenger, John McCain, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated
war hero from an elite Navy unit from the United States of America. " So he
grabbed the second pack and jumped

The third passenger, Barack Obama, said, "I am the President of the United
States and I am the smartest ever in the history of our country, some even
call me the 'Anointed One.'" So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out.

The fourth passenger, Billy Graham said to the fifth passenger, a
10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life and served my God the
best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. Graham. There's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest President took my schoolbag."

__._,_.___

Never stand in line again...

Never Stand In Line Again

When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan, Stanley McChrystal, was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President.

"It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied and he handed Obama his resignation.

Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to piss on my grave."

The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again.

SUM BITCH!

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural East Texas . Panic
stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the
time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull
left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
> 
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of
anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had
happened.
> 
They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and
out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the
farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. 
> 
"Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United
States ?"
> 
>"Yep."
> 
>"Were there any survivors?"
> 
"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."
> 
"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked.
> 
"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
> 
"He kept a-saying he wasn't... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies...

This is straight forward country thinking... 
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims: 


1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a                                 moral objection to liquor. 
You may be a Muslim


2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 
You may be a Muslim 


3. You have more wives than teeth. 
You may be a Muslim


4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but                                 consider bacon unclean. 
You may be a Muslim                                 


5. You think vests come in two styles:                                 bullet-proof and suicide. 
You may be a Muslim.


6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. 
You may be a Muslim.


7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. 
You may be a Muslim. 


8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. 
You may be a Muslim 


9. You have nothing against women                                 and think every man should own at least four.                                
You may be a Muslim 


10. Your cousin is president of the United States .                                 
You may be a Muslim 


11. You find this offensive or racist and don't                                 forward it.
You may be a Muslim 

SMOKE POT WITH THE PRESIDENT ...BOOK

A User's Guide To Smoking Pot With Barack Obama

Barry was quite the accomplished marijuana enthusiast back in high school and college. Excerpts from David Maraniss' Barack Obama: The Story dealing with the elaborate drug culture surrounding the president when he attended Punahou School in Honolulu and Occidental College in Los Angeles. He inhaled. A lot. posted May 25, 2012 8:29am EDT

Gavon Laessig BuzzFeed Staff posted a few minutes ago

Share

8K

19K

19K

Email

4K

Stumble

I know, right? Now tell your friends!

A User's Guide To Smoking Pot With Bar...

Gavon Laessig

Share

Stumble

Email

1. 1. The Choom Gang

View this image ›

A self-selected group of boys at Punahou School who loved basketball and good times called themselves the Choom Gang. Choom is a verb, meaning "to smoke marijuana."

3. 2. Total Absorption

View this image ›

As a member of the Choom Gang, Barry Obama was known for starting a few pot-smoking trends. The first was called "TA," short for "total absorption." To place this in the physical and political context of another young man who would grow up to be president, TA was the antithesis of Bill Clinton's claim that as a Rhodes scholar at Oxford he smoked dope but never inhaled.

5. 3. Roof Hits

View this image ›

Along with TA, Barry popularized the concept of "roof hits": when they were chooming in the car all the windows had to be rolled up so no smoke blew out and went to waste; when the pot was gone, they tilted their heads back and sucked in the last bit of smoke from the ceiling.

7. 4. Penalties

View this image ›

When you were with Barry and his pals, if you exhaled precious pakalolo (Hawaiian slang for marijuana, meaning "numbing tobacco") instead of absorbing it fully into your lungs, you were assessed a penalty and your turn was skipped the next time the joint came around. "Wasting good bud smoke was not tolerated," explained one member of the Choom Gang, Tom Topolinski, the Chinese-looking kid with a Polish name who answered to Topo.

9. 5. The Choomwagon

View this image ›

[Choom Gang member] Mark Bendix's Volkswagen bus, also known as the Choomwagon. … The other members considered Mark Bendix the glue, he was funny, creative, and uninhibited, with a penchant for Marvel Comics. He also had that VW bus and a house with a pool, a bong, and a Nerf basketball, all enticements for them to slip off midday for a few unauthorized hours of recreation...

11. 6. Interceptions

View this image ›

Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind.

13. 7. Slippers

View this image ›

Choom Gang members often made their way to Aku Ponds at the end of Manoa Stream, where they slipped past the liliko'i vines and the KAPU (keep out) signs, waded into waist-high cool mountain water, stood near the rock where water rushed overhead, and held up a slipper (what flip-flops are called in Hawaii) to create an air pocket canopy. It was a natural high, they said, stoned or not.

15. 8. Ray The Dealer

View this image ›

He was a long-haired haole hippie who worked at the Mama Mia Pizza Parlor not far from Punahou and lived in a dilapidated bus in an abandoned warehouse. … According to Topolinski, Ray the dealer was "freakin' scary." Many years later they learned that he had been killed with a ball-peen hammer by a scorned gay lover. But at the time he was useful because of his ability to "score quality weed."
...
In another section of the [senior] yearbook, students were given a block of space to express thanks and define their high school experience. … Nestled below [Obama's] photographs was one odd line of gratitude: "Thanks Tut, Gramps, Choom Gang, and Ray for all the good times." … A hippie drug-dealer made his acknowledgments; his own mother did not.

17. 9. Pumping Stations

View this image ›

Their favorite hangout was a place they called Pumping Stations, a lush hideaway off an unmarked, roughly paved road partway up Mount Tantalus. They parked single file on the grassy edge, turned up their stereos playing Aerosmith, Blue Oyster Cult, and Stevie Wonder, lit up some "sweet-sticky Hawaiian buds" and washed it down with "green bottle beer" (the Choom Gang preferred Heineken, Becks, and St. Pauli Girl).

19. 10. Veto

View this image ›

One of the favorite words in their subculture revealed their democratic nature. The word was veto. Whenever an idea was broached, someone could hold up his hand in the V sign (a backward peace sign of that era) and indicate that the motion wash not approved. They later shortened the process so that you could just shout "V" to get the point across. In the Choom Gang, all V's were created equal.

21. 11. Maui Wowie, Kauai Electric, Puna Bud And Kona Gold:

View this image ›

In the Honolulu of Barry's teenage years marijuana was flourishing up in the hills, out in the countryside, in covert greenhouses everywhere. It was sold and smoked right there in front of your nose; Maui Wowie, Kauai Electric, Puna Bud, Kona Gold, and other local variations of pakololo were readily available.

23. 12. The Barf Couch

View this image ›

The Barf Couch earned its name early in the first trimester when a freshman across the hall from Obama [in the Haines Hall Annex dorm at Occidental College] drank himself into a stupor and threw up all over himself and the couch. In the manner of pallbearers hoisting a coffin, a line of Annexers lifted the tainted sofa with the freshman aboard and toted it out the back door and down four steps to the first concrete landing on the way to the parking lot. A day later, the couch remained outside in the sun, resting on its side with cushions off (someone had hosed it clean), and soon it was back in the hallway nook.

25. 13. The Annex Olympics

View this image ›

(The main hallway at Haines Hall was called the Annex,) home to the impromptu Annex Olympics: long-jumping onto a pile of mattresses, wrestling in underwear, hacking golf balls down the hallway toward the open back door, boxing while drunk. There were the non-Olympic sports of lighting farts and judging them by color, tipping over the Coke machine, breaking the glass fire extinguisher case, putting out cigarettes on the carpet, falling asleep on the carpet, flinging Frisbees at the ceiling-mounted alarm bell, tasting pizza boxes to the floor, and smoking pot from a three-foot crimson opaque bong, a two-man event involving the smoker and an accomplice standing ready to respond to the order "Hey, dude, light the bowl!"

LINK:Pre-order "Barack Obama: The Story" by David Maraniss

amazon.com

Craig's List new listing...

Listing today on Craig's List:

You are probably not very interested in any used farm equipment, but
thought you might like to see this ad taken from Craig's List this
morning...

Fifty-year-old manure spreader - $1 (Washington, D.C.)

Date: 4-4-2012, 08:21AM EST

Fifty-year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been
produced in Kenya. Used for a few years in Indonesia before being
smuggled into the US via Hawaii. Of questionable pedigree. Does not
appear to have ever been worked very hard. Apparently, it was pampered by various owners over the years. It does not work very often, but when it does, it can really spread the manure and sling it for amazing
distances. I am hoping to retire this manure spreader next November.
Nevertheless, I really do not want it hanging around getting in the
way. I would prefer a foreign buyer that is willing to relocate this
manure spreader out of the country. I would be willing to trade this
manure spreader for a nicely framed copy of the United States
Constitution .

Location: Oval Office -Washington, D.C.

MORE JOKES -- ONLY DUMBER

This one about sums it up perfectly................
   
Five surgeons are talking.

The first, an Ontario surgeon, says: " I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. "
 
The second, a Quebec surgeon, responds: " Yeah, but you should try electricians.  Everything inside of them is color coded. "
 
The third, a B.C. surgeon, says: " No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside of them is in alphabetical order. "
 
The fourth, an Alberta surgeon, chimes in: " You know, I like construction workers.  Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.
"
But the fifth, a Newfoundlander, shut them all up when he observed," You're all wrong.  
Politicians are the easiest to operate on.  
There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable. "

What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent man?

Bigfoot has been spotted several times.

Boy, was Obama pissed... 

This is mythical and deep. Truly beautiful...

A  man asked an American Indian what was his wife' name.

He replied, "She called Five Horses".

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?"

The  Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name.

It mean... 

NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!

 

Neither Hare Nor There

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, Pulls over and gets out of his car to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.

She steps out of the car and asks the man, “What's wrong?”

"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and killed him."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can and then walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again until he finally hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says,

Are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

Last chance

OK, here it is

It says, "Hair Spray: Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."