LAWYER SCREWS UP

Gotta Love this Policeman         A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!   So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.   The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.   When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.   The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"   Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.   On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.   Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"   Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."   Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"   "Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."   "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"    "Aggressive and hostile, Sir."    "Aggressive and hostile?"    "Yes, Sir.   "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole?"   Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.  How often can one get an attorney to incriminate his own client?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MEXICAN JUSTICE

Three women went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation. They got drunk and woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

 

They throw the switch and NOTHING HAPPENS! They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from Indiana University School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens AGAIN.  immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of West Virginia and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug that thing in.

__._,_.___

CONFUSED ABOUT SERVICE?

DEFINITION OF"SERVICE" I became confused when I heard the word " Service " being used with these agencies: 1, Internal Revenue "Service". 2, U.S. Postal "Service". 3, Telephone "Service". 4, Cable T.V. "Service". 5, Civil "Service". 6, State, City, County & Public"Service". 7, Customer "Service". This is not what I thought "Service"meant. But today I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "Service" a few cows. BAM !!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing!!!!! www.GuardDogBooks.com

Irish Joke

Square Testicles           This is a joke that is supposed to bring you the luck of the Irish. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?' The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.' The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.    The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?' 'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.' 'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked  the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.' The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland.' The origin of this Irish story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent. Whoever breaks the chain would definitely be unlucky.   Do not keep this letter. And do not send money. Just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck. Something good will happen to you in the next four days. If the chain is not broken, you will have good luck during the four days. Even if all you do is make someone laugh, send it on!    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * If you send this page to more than 5 people, you will have good luck for the next 5 years   in addition to the luck you will have within the next 4 days.

Hillary Clinton

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New healthcare doctor in training...

Spelling Bee Champion

My name be Eboneesha Hernandez, a African-Hispanic-American Girl who jus got a award for bein the bess speler in class. I gots a 47% on the spelin text and 38 points for being black, 10 points for not bringin drugs to class, 10 points for not bringin guns to class, and 15 points for not getting pregnut during the cemester. It be hard to beat a score of 120%

White dude sit nex to me is McGee from Jaxon Mizipy. He got a 94% on the text but no extra points on acount of he have the same skin color as the opressirs of 150 years ago. Granny ax me to thank all dimocrafts and liberuls for suportin afermative axion. You be showin da way to true eqwallity

I be gittin in medical skool nex an mabe I be yo doctor since Barrac takn over da healfcare in dis contry.=

HOW TO START A FIGHT

HOW TO START A FIGHT 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift 
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. 
When she asked me why, I replied, 
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" 
And that's how the fight started..... 
________________________________ 

 

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. 
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 
'No,' she answered. 
I then said,'Is that your final answer?' 
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' 
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." 
And that's when the fight started... 
________________________________ 

 

I took my wife to a restaurant. 
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." 
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" 
"Nah, she can order for herself." 
And that's when the fight started..... 
_______________________________ 

 

My wife at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?" 
"Yes", she sighed, he's my old boyfriend. He began drinking right after we split up years ago, and hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" 
And then the fight started... 
________________________________ 

 

When our lawn mower broke my wife kept nagging me to get it fixed. But, I always had something else to take care of. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
I found her seated in the tall, unmowed grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." 
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. 
______________________________ 

 

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. 
She asked, "What's on TV?" 
I said, "Lots of dust." 
And then the fight started... 
________________________________ 

 

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. 
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds." 
I bought her a bathroom scale. 
And then the fight started...... 
______________________________ 

 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for benefits. 
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. 
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left it at home. I told the woman I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver chest hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started... 
________________________________ 

 

My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror. 
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." 
That's when the fight began . . . 
________________________________ 

 

I rear-ended a car this morning . . . 
the start of a really bad day! 
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! 
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' 
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

Gun Ban -- Funny...

Places not to go---gun violence

 

 

 

What an interesting list!.

Oddly, the US is way down the list...
Places not to go---gun violence
It is hard to believe, the general public can’t grasp this.
Please go all the way down the list for the "bottom line". . .
This is FASCINATING !!
WORLD MURDER STATISTICS
From the World Health Organization
The latest Murder Statistics for the world:
Murders per 100,000 citizens per year.
Honduras 91.6 (WOW!!)
El Salvador 69.2
Cote d'lvoire 56.9
Jamaica 52.2
Venezuela 45.1
Belize 41.4
US Virgin Islands 39.2
Guatemala 38.5
Saint Kitts and Nevis 38.2
Zambia 38.0
Uganda 36.3
Malawi 36.0
Lesotho 35.2
Trinidad and Tobago 35.2
Colombia 33.4
South Africa 31.8
Congo 30.8
Central African Republic 29.3
Bahamas 27.4
Puerto Rico 26.2
Saint Lucia 25.2
Dominican Republic 25.0
Tanzania 24.5
Sudan 24.2
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines 22.9
Ethiopia 22.5
Guinea 22.5
Dominica 22.1
Burundi 21.7
Democratic Republic of the Congo 21.7
Panama 21.6
Brazil 21.0
Equatorial Guinea 20.7
Guinea-Bissau 20.2
Kenya 20.1
Kyrgyzstan 20.1
Cameroon 19.7
Montserrat 19.7
Greenland 19.2
Angola 19.0
Guyana 18.6
Burkina Faso 18.0
Eritrea 17.8
Namibia 17.2
Rwanda 17.1
Mexico 16.9
Chad 15.8
Ghana 15.7
Ecuador 15.2
North Korea 15.2
Benin 15.1
Sierra Leone 14.9
Mauritania 14.7
Botswana 14.5
Zimbabwe 14.3
Gabon 13.8
Nicaragua 13.6
French Guiana 13.3
Papua New Guinea 13.0
Swaziland 12.9
Bermuda 12.3
Comoros 12.2
Nigeria 12.2
Cape Verde 11.6
Grenada 11.5
Paraguay 11.5
Barbados 11.3
Togo 10.9
Gambia 10.8
Peru 10.8
Myanmar 10.2
Russia 10.2
Liberia 10.1
Costa Rica 10.0
Nauru 9.8
Bolivia 8.9
Mozambique 8.8
Kazakhstan 8.8
Senegal 8.7
Turks and Caicos Islands 8.7
Mongolia 8.7
British Virgin Islands 8.6
Cayman Islands 8.4
Seychelles 8.3
Madagascar 8.1
Indonesia 8.1
Mali 8.0
Pakistan 7.8
Moldova 7.5
Kiribati 7.3
Guadeloupe 7.0
Haiti 6.9
Timor-Leste 6.9
Anguilla 6.8
Antigua and Barbuda 6.8
Lithuania 6.6
Uruguay 5.9
Philippines 5.4
Ukraine 5.2
Estonia 5.2
Cuba 5.0
Belarus 4.9
Thailand 4.8
Suriname 4.6
Laos 4.6
Georgia 4.3
Martinique 4.2
And .............................................
The United States 4.2 !!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL (109) of the countries above America have 100% gun bans.

It might be of interest to note that SWITZERLAND is not shown on this
list because it has NO MURDER OCCURRENCE!
However, SWITZERLAND 'S law requires that EVERYONE:
1. Own a gun.
2. Maintain Marksman qualifications .... regularly .

Didja learn anything from this??

The message is - loud and clear - that gun bans and restrictions DO NOT work!

 

 

--

"If you do not take an interest in the affairs of your government, then you are doomed to live under the rule of fools." – Plato

 

The older we get....

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken

McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the

belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they

wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code

so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired

as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.' (keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they

(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and

said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'

'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it

on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had

eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the

mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. I n a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

· 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to every one you can remember right now!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night 

Voted best Joke!

Subject: How did we elect his guy?

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work".

The German doctor says: "that's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work".

The Russian doctor says: "gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work".

The United States doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. Five years ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain

--

Kevin Ryan, Ph. D.
Professor and Director Emeritus

Center for Character and Social Responsibility

Boston University

While you slept...

   Late Monday night the Muslim Brotherhood warned that if the United
States continues meddling in Egypt , Libya and other Middle East hot spots they intend to cut off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

 
     If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next,followed by Dell, AT&T, and AOL customerservice reps.
 

   Finally, if all else fails, they havethreatened to not supply us any more    presidents.

While you slept...

   Late Monday night the Muslim Brother hood warned that if the United
States continues meddling in Egypt , 

Libya and other Middle East hot spots 

they intend to cut off America 's supplyof 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

 
     If this action does not yield 

sufficient results, cab drivers will be next,followed by Dell, AT&T, and AOLcustomer service reps.
 

   Finally, if all else fails, they havethreatened to not supply us any more    presidents.

Blond jokes--good for your health...

DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE
ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A
VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

Farm Joke...

USDA Secretary Validates Agenda 21,
Says Rural America "Less and Less Relevant"
Susanne Posel

Last week Tom Vilsack, secretary of the US Department of Agriculture (USDA), speaking at a forum sponsored by Farm Journal, claimed that rural America has become "less and less relevant." Vilsack went on to say that "It’s time for us to have an adult conversation with folks in rural America. It’s time for a different thought process here, in my view."

Vilsack asserts that with more and more Americans moving into urbanized city-centers, the farming communities in rural areas are not necessary in order to supply the US with food and other necessities. He believes that these areas of land would be better served without having to direct energy and resources to them. He is an advocate for Monsanto and genetically modified foods which would explain why Vilsack is against rural America and farming communities.

In fact, Vilsack stated that a farming policy that facilitated the reality of "rural America with a shrinking population is becoming less and less relevant to the politics of this country, and we had better recognize that and we better begin to reverse it."

By eliminating the necessity of trucking food across the country, and growing food in the urbanized centers, the sprawl can be replaced with "greenhouses". On rollers, and placed upon triangular buildings constructed in Sweden, harvesting is made easier because the sunlight can be tracked through the movement of the food planted upon the mobile platforms.

The concept of vertical farming promises to spare the environment from the nutrient depleting practice of agriculture, while providing the ability to cultivate animal and/or plant life on vertically lined surfaces – such as skyscrapers.

In Chicago, concepts for the Chicago Gateway will Americanize the concept of vertical farming by constructing a building that is esthetically pleasing as functional. Both as a residential skyscraper and communal food producing center combined. Plans for networks of connecting sky bridges will allow the public to access their hydroponic farm without using the ground levels of the city.

The USDA asserts that since 50% of rural communities have seen major population reduction since 2008 which have resulted in massive influxes into major cities across the nation.

Globalist-supported scientists are suggesting that humanity would be better off living in densely populated centers. "We certainly don't want them strolling about the entire countryside. We want them to save land for nature by living closely [together]."

In 2010, experts were asserting the greater importance of urban populations against those in rural areas as it has been the plan of the global Elite to reduce rural resources including people and communities in lieu of promoting clean water, food, forest areas. Keeping rural areas impoverished and forcing people to move into urban centers has created a need for sustainable urbanization, say the eco-fascists.

The Obama administration has been integral in the destruction of rural America with propositions such as  banning children who live on farms from doing chores for the benefit of the farm under claims of violation of child labor laws.

Obama empowered the Department of Labor (DoL) to finalize a federal rule that will apply child labor laws to children working on farms. A list of jobs they will no longer be allowed to preform will be amended to the rule. These will be jobs like, "in the storing, marketing and transporting of farm product raw materials."

The DoL specifies that "prohibited places of employment include country grain elevators, grain bins, silos, feed lots, stockyards, livestock exchanges and livestock auctions."

On August 31, 2012, the new regulations set forth by Obama and the DoL mandated government safety training and certification in classes will replace those once provided by rural institutions like the 4-H and the FFA.

The executive order National Defense Resources Preparedness specifies in Section 801:

"Farm equipment" means equipment, machinery, and repair parts manufactured for use on farms in connection with the production or preparation for market use of food resources.
"Food resources" means all commodities and products, (simple, mixed, or compound), or complements to such commodities or products, that are capable of being ingested by either human beings or animals, irrespective of other uses to which such commodities or products may be put, at all stages of processing from the raw commodity to the products thereof in vendible form for human or animal consumption. "Food resources" also means potable water packaged in commercially marketable containers, all starches, sugars, vegetable and animal or marine fats and oils, seed, cotton, hemp, and flax fiber, but does not mean any such material after it loses its identity as an agricultural commodity or agricultural product.
"Food resource facilities" means plants, machinery, vehicles (including on farm), and other facilities required for the production, processing, distribution, and storage (including cold storage) of food resources, and for the domestic distribution of farm equipment and fertilizer (excluding transportation thereof).

Under the Obama dictatorship, farming a commodity of the US government to be regulated at it sees fit.

The White House Rural Council is empowered to:

Coordinate and increase the effectiveness of Federal engagement with rural stakeholders, including agricultural organizations, small businesses, education and training institutions, health-care providers, telecommunications services providers, research and land grant institutions, law enforcement, State, local, and tribal governments, and nongovernmental organizations regarding the needs of rural America.

Through mandates by the Department of Transportation (DOT) Obama has placed stifling restrictions on farming equipment that has led to the bankruptcy of thousands of small farms across the nation.

Restrictions like forcing farmers to obtain a CDL to drive their tractors on public roads; as well as the reclassification of farm vehicles and implements to commercial motor vehicles (CMV).

While the Environmental Protection Agency is imposing fines on farmers for "farm dust" and the Food and Drug Administration sending swat teams to arrest farmers at the local seasonal farmer's market for selling raw milk, the assault on an American tradition.

The Obama administration has made it clear that they will adopt UN Agenda 21 and force Americans to follow these regulations.