MEXICAN JUSTICE

Three women went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation. They got drunk and woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

 

They throw the switch and NOTHING HAPPENS! They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from Indiana University School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens AGAIN.  immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of West Virginia and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug that thing in.

__._,_.___

Hillary Clinton

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New healthcare doctor in training...

Spelling Bee Champion

My name be Eboneesha Hernandez, a African-Hispanic-American Girl who jus got a award for bein the bess speler in class. I gots a 47% on the spelin text and 38 points for being black, 10 points for not bringin drugs to class, 10 points for not bringin guns to class, and 15 points for not getting pregnut during the cemester. It be hard to beat a score of 120%

White dude sit nex to me is McGee from Jaxon Mizipy. He got a 94% on the text but no extra points on acount of he have the same skin color as the opressirs of 150 years ago. Granny ax me to thank all dimocrafts and liberuls for suportin afermative axion. You be showin da way to true eqwallity

I be gittin in medical skool nex an mabe I be yo doctor since Barrac takn over da healfcare in dis contry.=

DEMOCRAT JOKE

My Mommy The  Dancer.

  

One day a  fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a  living.

All the  typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor,  lawyer, and so forth.

However,  little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the  teacher  

prodded him about his mother, he replied, "Well  my mother's an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front  of men and they put money in her under-wear. Sometimes, if the offer is really  good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for  money."

The teacher,  obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on  some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really  true about your mother?"

No," the boy  said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get  Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that  in front of the other kids."

 

NO JOKE...

Subject: WAL-MART VS. THE MORONS..(NOT A JOKE)

This is quite interesting.

Even if you do not forward it, read it all the way to the end...

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of Every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's Largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.
8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had Five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences Will occur at Wal-Mart stores.(Earth's population is Approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we
should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans?? Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To: President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt and ineffective:

a..The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 237 years to get it right and it is broke.

b..Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 77 years to get it right And it is broke.

c..Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 74 years to get it right and It is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 48 years to get it right;$1 Trillion of our money is confiscated each year andTransferred to "the poor"
..........And they only want more.
e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 47 years to get it right and they are broke.

f..Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 42Years to get it right And it is broke.

g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen Our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000
Employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we Import more oil than ever before. You had 35 years to get it right and
it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you Have shoved down our Throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOUCAN BE

TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE

SYSTEM??

Folks, Keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some

of our "duly elected' (they never read anything) and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

AND We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,? BUT -- In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , Japan

and Turkey ..And Pakistan........previous home of Bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no extra aid nor do they get any special breaks -- nadda beyond shopping discounts...

Now, it is estimated that 90,000 illegal alien children under the age of 16 will be in our country by the end of the year. We will feed them, provide health

and education and they will get everything a hard working American citizen gets - just for crossing the border illegally.

Obama is proposing we give millions of dollars to El Salvador, Hondouras and Guatamala to "help" the children. Do you really think this money

is going to get to the children that really need it? Meanwhile, Mexico is charging for allowing them to pass through Mexico to get to the US border,

paid for by the drug cartels. They are keeping the Border Guards busy changing diapers while the drug lords funnel tons of drugs into the

US to turn our children into zombies.

In GITMO, the 147 Muslim terrorists have one doctor for every prisoner, a state-of-the art hospital system, are provided Korans

and prayer rugs, food approved by the Koran, exercise and additional perks.

Our Veterans die waiting to see a VA doctor while the directors get bonuses.

AND Congress wants to freeze Social Security payments !

99% of people won't forward this. I'm one of the1% -- I Just Did

You won't believe this...

Holy **** , listen to this (48 seconds)

http://www.ourlighterside.com/2013/09/20/dr-james-d-manning-on-obama/

-- 
Have a great day 
Sir Richard James, McDonald 
KNYAZ Cte MKSJ KOC KR PhD JD LLD

THE CARDIOLOGIST'S FUNERAL


This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral... A very prestigious
cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where
he had worked for most of his life. A huge heart, covered in flowers stood
behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in
awe.. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The
heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that
point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at
him, he said, "I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my own funeralâ?¦ I'm a
gynecologist." The Priest fainted.