MEXICAN JUSTICE

Three women went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation. They got drunk and woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

 

They throw the switch and NOTHING HAPPENS! They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from Indiana University School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens AGAIN.  immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

 

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of West Virginia and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug that thing in.

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Worst joke of all time...

I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night. They were called "Bomb Jovi".

They were brilliant. Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down.

Then this Muslim bloke started bragging about how he had the entire Koran on DVD.

I was interested so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"

Well, that was when the fight started!

Saddest Cities

America's Saddest Cities Are Nothing to Cry About

Posted by Amy Reiter

on December 6, 2011 at 9:00 AM

It's hard to know how much a person's mood is determined by the city in which they live. But many of us can point to cities that make us happy (in my case, New York, Baltimore, Chicago) and cities that make us sad (I wept almost every day of the 10 months I lived in another city I won't name). The funny thing is, what makes a city a happy or sad place for someone is often deeply personal. And sometimes, even in a city that might seem to lend itself to the blues, there are compensating factors, things you can find there that may just cheer you right up: The weather in Seattle may be gloomy, for example, but you can always get a mood boost from that great coffee!

Anyhow, Men's Health recently came up with its list of the saddest cities in America, basing its rankings on suicide and unemployment rates, the percentage of households in which someone is on antidepressants, and the number of people who say they feel down either all or most of the time.

The results may surprise you, as they did me.

For instance, even though Florida is super-sunny, it's also apparently super-sad, with three cities in the top 10. The very pretty St. Petersburg, Florida, in fact, ranks atop Men's Health's list as the Saddest City in America. I know the people who live there can't feel very happy about that!

Here's the whole top 10:

St. Petersburg, FL

Detroit, MI

Memphis, TN

Tampa, FL

Louisville, KY

St. Louis, MO

Birmingham, AL

Miami, FL

Reno, NV

Las Vegas, NV

Perhaps the sad people living in these cities will cheer up now that their misery has been validated. If not, and they want to make a change for the cheerier, they could always move to one of the cities on Men's Health's related list of "blues-proof" cities. Top of that list -- Honolulu, Hawaii. Aloha, happiness!

Do you think the city you live in can affect your mood?