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Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Monday, June 10, 2013

Do you like getting older???

The Question: DO YOU LIKE GETTING OLDER???


I am forwarding this to those on my Seniors email list because it is so well written. Please send back. ( I did ) It's neat. Don't delete this one, you'll laugh when you see the return message.


As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

Forward this to at least 7 people, and see what happens on your screen..

You will laugh your head off!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 3, 2013

You must be over fifteen to read this...


Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.


This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.



He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'



She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.



It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

Friday, March 23, 2012

TRUTH FUNNER THAN FICTION



ESCORTS PUTTING PRESSURE ON BANKERS



Madrid’s high-class escorts have found a way to regulate the Spanish banking sector. The ladies want to have their say in the economy by withholding sexual pleasures from bank employees.
The largest trade association for luxury escorts in the Spanish capital has gone on a general and indefinite strike on sexual services for bankers until they go back to providing credits to Spanish families, small- and medium-size enterprises and companies.
It all started with one of the ladies who forced one of her clients to grant a line credit and a loan simply by halting her sexual services until he “fulfills his responsibility to society.”
The trade association's spokeswoman praised their success by stressing the government and the Bank of Spain have previously failed to adjust the credit flow.
"We are the only ones with a real ability to pressure the sector," she stated. “We have been on strike for three days now and we don't think they can withstand much more.”
She has revealed that bankers have made some pitiful attempts to use their services by pretending to be engineers or architects.
“But they don't fool anyone since it has been many years since these professionals could afford rates that start from 300 euro an hour," she continued.
The bankers reportedly became so desperate that they even decided to call in the government for mediation.
The Mexican website SDPnoticias.com, which initially published the story, cites the Minister of Economy and Competitiveness as admitting that the lack of legislation regulating the escort sector makes it very difficult for the government to intercede in the conflict.
"In fact, there has not even been a formal communication of the strike — the escorts are making use of their right of admission or denying entry to…well, you know. So no one can negotiate," he was quoted as saying.