NOT VERY FUNNY

Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane..

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his..

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR...

Barack Obama has a
heart-attack and passes away.


He immediately goes to
hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do
here," says the devil.


"You are on my list
Obama, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so
I'll tell you what I'm going to do."


"I've got a few folks
here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you
have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who
leaves."


Obama thought that
sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.


In it was Ted Kennedy and
a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed.
Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing.

Such was his fate in
hell.

"No," Obama said. "I
don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do
that all day long."

The devil led him to the
door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room
full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after
time.


"No, this is no
good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,"
commented Obama.

The devil opened a
third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed,
his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a
spread-eagle pose.

Bent over him was
Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked
at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I
can handle this."


The devil smiled
and said............

"OK, Monica, you're free to
go."

Best political Joke yet