BEST POLITICAL JOKE OF THE SEASON

   George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.


While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.


The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.



Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a
check.



Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.



Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.



When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.



The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

Historical joke!

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick
up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the
Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay
down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the
Promised Land."

Today, Bush has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price
of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

Garfield on the oil shortage.

A lot of  folks can't understand how we came    to  have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~ 
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~ 
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~ 
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~ 
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~ 
Our OIL is located in:
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ALASKA 
~~~ 
California 
~~~ 
Coastal Florida 
~~~ 
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Coastal Alabama
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Coastal Mississippi
~~~~ 
Coastal Texas
~~~ 
North Dakota 
~~~ 
Wyoming 
~~~ 
Colorado 
~~~ 
Kansas 
~~~ 
Oklahoma 
~~~ 
Pennsylvania 
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And 
Texas 
    ~~~ 
Our dipsticks are located  in DC 
~~~ 
Any Questions? 
   
     NO? Didn't think so.