JOKES: PG 13
Why Worry:
There are really only two things in life to worry about:
either you are sick, or you are well.
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, there are only two things to worry about:
either you get better, or you die.
If you get better, you have nothing to worry about.
If you die, you only have two things to worry about: either
you will go to Heaven, or you will go to Hell.
If you go to Heaven, you have nothing to worry about.
If you go to Hell...you will be so busy catching up with old
friends, you won't have time to worry!
The new employee!
Charlie, a newly retired employee at the local B&Q
store, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10 or 15
minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded
and a real credit to the company, obviously epitomizing their 'Older Person
Friendly' policies. One day the boss called him into the office for a chat.
"Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you
do a great job, but your arriving a few minutes late so often is becoming quite
a problem."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player and I like to hear
that members of our team can recognize their shortcomings and tackle them. It
does however seem odd to me that you come in late so very often when I know you
recently retired from the armed forces. What did they say if you came in late
there?"
"They would say, 'Good morning Admiral, would you like
some coffee now, sir?'."
HER DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a
drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset
at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.. He agreed, but he didn't say
much.. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my
fault that he was upset.. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do
with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled
slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he
didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him
completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.
He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with
silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came
to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I
still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He
fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY:
Harley wouldn't start today, can't figure it out, but at
least I got laid..
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