Another dumb lawyer joke...

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also.
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

  "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

  They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

  Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

  The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high

Funny

I think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune....

No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this  is funny. This guy is hilarious…

Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.  If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for  the Confederacy?  No!  There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names.  Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los  Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children.  The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits.   Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go.  We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should.  Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.
As a die-hard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???)

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them.  As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress

Occasionally, we need to be reminded as to why God made us in the first place. Some answers appear below.

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Babe Ruth "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Lyndon B. Johnson "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Paul Horning "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." H. L. Mencken "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" George Bernard Shaw "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.! W. C. Fields Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: "Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Henry Kroll Author of ten books: COSMOLOGICAL ICE AGES, The Frog Is cooked, SADDAM HUSSEIN AND THE SAND PIRATES, Philosopher's Stone, SPACESHIPS OF THE GODS, DIE WITH THE MOST TOYS etc... 

www.AlaskaPublishing.com
www.GuardDogBooks.com 
www.Amazon.com
www.Trafford.com
www.InfinityPublishing.com