This is straight forward country thinking... 
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims: 


1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a                                 moral objection to liquor. 
You may be a Muslim


2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 
You may be a Muslim 


3. You have more wives than teeth. 
You may be a Muslim


4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but                                 consider bacon unclean. 
You may be a Muslim                                 


5. You think vests come in two styles:                                 bullet-proof and suicide. 
You may be a Muslim.


6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. 
You may be a Muslim.


7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. 
You may be a Muslim. 


8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. 
You may be a Muslim 


9. You have nothing against women                                 and think every man should own at least four.                                
You may be a Muslim 


10. Your cousin is president of the United States .                                 
You may be a Muslim 


11. You find this offensive or racist and don't                                 forward it.
You may be a Muslim